I recommend you read the last question I answered about student/teacher relationships if you really want my opinion on them. But I assume by professor you mean to say that you’re in college, so if you’re over 18 there’s nothing legally wrong about it. I won’t be able to give you advice going about it though, sorry. 

I know the feeling, definitely been there before and it’s tough. But, life is about taking a chance sometimes or else you’ll never know what could have been. You think that guys move from girl to girl. While that’s true for some, not all guys are like that. You also said that everyone else thinks he likes you. That’s a good sign. Do they ever notice other things about him? Like does he talk to a lot of other girls in a flirty way or date around? If not, you probably don’t need to be super concerned about just being his next fling. So, I think if he’s a nice guy overall that you should go for it. You’re not seeing him over break but if you hang out often when you guys get back you could bring up how it was weird not seeing him since you’re so used to hanging out, or something along those lines.  Even if you can’t see each other, maybe connecting through facebook or just texting him will keep you on his mind. I know it can be scary to put yourself out there after getting hurt, but if things continue in the direction it’s going with you two talking and spending time together I bet it will turn out just fine :)

Hello,

First of all, it took me a while to respond to this for a few reasons:

1. I just had my first finals week in college, and

2. At my former high school a teacher (whose class I was in at one point!) was recently arrested for having a relationship with an underage student.

If you want my honest opinion, I think romantic relationships between students and teachers that teach high school and lower are inappropriate. The occupation of a teacher is one of power, and many don’t seem to recognize this. As a teacher, your job is to prepare young people for the world ahead of them, to inspire them, and help them. In doing so you are making roughly 100 people in the world a year (or however many you teach) think a little bit more like you. That is really powerful stuff, to me at least. As someone who was greatly influenced by my teachers, I can’t imagine violating the boundaries of that relationship. It’s very sacred in a way.

That being said, I feel that if one were to begin a student/teacher relationship, there would be an imbalance of power, especially with a significant age difference. If you look at the situation from a developmental perspective, someone at the age of 18 is at a very different place in their lives than someone at age 40.

Also, and once again this is just my opinion and I’m not saying it pertains to your situation, but romantic relationships between students and teachers creates an ethical dilemma. Even if a teacher waits until a student has graduated to pursue a relationship, that teacher in their position of power has still lusted after an underage student while they were a student, the one that they are supposed to teach and inspire and help, as I mentioned earlier. That just doesn’t sit right with me, in my opinion.

Despite the fact that I don’t have children, I also try to empathize with parents in this situation. You send your child to school assuming that they are safe and getting a good education, yet their teacher is thinking of your child in a sexual way…It gets very muddy and complicated I know, but that’s another issue that I have a problem with.

So, I’m aware that I haven’t really given you the advice you probably wanted, but I won’t be able to. These are my ethical standpoints in regards to student/teacher relationships. Whether or not you pursue a relationship with your former teacher is your choice to make as I assume you are 18 now. Long story short, I believe that the sexy schoolgirl fantasy should remain a role play fantasy and be left at that.

Well you sort of answered your own question. You’ve seen a pattern going on with this person before, and unless they’re acting totally different towards you, the pattern is just going to keep on going and you’re just going to get hurt again. Also if they broke up with you, it must have been for a reason. You don’t want to go through with that again, do you? In my opinion a relationship like this isn’t worth your time. I’ve seen tons of people get stuck in on and off relationships and it really takes a toll on them. You know what’s best for you, You’ve been able to recognize that there’s a pattern and so I think the best thing to do is just walk away from this person. Hope I helped :)

It really just seems like the guys you knew in high school were a bunch of jerks. I really don’t think it has anything to do with you or that anything is wrong with you. The first two guys seemed like they were just looking for a sexual relationship, which is ok for them, but they picked the wrong girl. Good for you for sticking to your beliefs and not letting them pressure you! I’m really sorry that these crappy situations have happened to you, but I don’t want you to lose hope. Sometimes we just go through not so awesome periods of our life, especially when romantic relationships are involved. It sounds like your teen/high school years was that time. 

So now, I don’t know if you’re in college or working, but the post high school world really does have much more people, and even better, chances are those people are more mature. Just continue to be yourself, be friendly, and get to know the guy on a friendship level before going further. It will happen :)

I think with all the drama going on, focus on the problem you have right in front of of you first. A relationship probably isn’t the best idea right now.

Well I might be kind of annoyed once I found out. I would mainly want to know why you lied and we’d have to talk about it. But depending on our friendship if we were super close I’d probably be able to forgive you.

Well, I don’t think people will exactly be happy with you obviously, some may be more angry than others, but really the longer you wait the more this problem will just drag on. It’s only going to get worse so the best thing to do is just cut it short. I think your mom has good advice on this one, and I bet that she will be supportive of you telling the truth.