First of all, it took me a while to respond to this for a few reasons:
1. I just had my first finals week in college, and
2. At my former high school a teacher (whose class I was in at one point!) was recently arrested for having a relationship with an underage student.
If you want my honest opinion, I think romantic relationships between students and teachers that teach high school and lower are inappropriate. The occupation of a teacher is one of power, and many don’t seem to recognize this. As a teacher, your job is to prepare young people for the world ahead of them, to inspire them, and help them. In doing so you are making roughly 100 people in the world a year (or however many you teach) think a little bit more like you. That is really powerful stuff, to me at least. As someone who was greatly influenced by my teachers, I can’t imagine violating the boundaries of that relationship. It’s very sacred in a way.
That being said, I feel that if one were to begin a student/teacher relationship, there would be an imbalance of power, especially with a significant age difference. If you look at the situation from a developmental perspective, someone at the age of 18 is at a very different place in their lives than someone at age 40.
Also, and once again this is just my opinion and I’m not saying it pertains to your situation, but romantic relationships between students and teachers creates an ethical dilemma. Even if a teacher waits until a student has graduated to pursue a relationship, that teacher in their position of power has still lusted after an underage student while they were a student, the one that they are supposed to teach and inspire and help, as I mentioned earlier. That just doesn’t sit right with me, in my opinion.
Despite the fact that I don’t have children, I also try to empathize with parents in this situation. You send your child to school assuming that they are safe and getting a good education, yet their teacher is thinking of your child in a sexual way…It gets very muddy and complicated I know, but that’s another issue that I have a problem with.
So, I’m aware that I haven’t really given you the advice you probably wanted, but I won’t be able to. These are my ethical standpoints in regards to student/teacher relationships. Whether or not you pursue a relationship with your former teacher is your choice to make as I assume you are 18 now. Long story short, I believe that the sexy schoolgirl fantasy should remain a role play fantasy and be left at that.