Posts tagged lgbt
Ask Ami
Click HERE to ask questions
Anonymous asked:
So before I start I would just like to clarify that I am a girl, and I do have a bf. But the other night I was at a friends house with a bunch of other people (my bf wasn't there) and we all decided to play truth or dare. When my turn came, I chose dare and was dared to seriously kiss another girl. Not being one to back down from a challenge, I did and I seriously enjoyed it. Now I'm really confused and mixed up and I don't know what to do or think. Any advice?
I wouldn’t necessarily be worried. Sexuality is something that is with us our whole lives, so it’s okay to discover new things. The fact that you liked kissing a girl may or may not say anything about your sexual orientation, depending on what it means to you personally. So just take some time to think about what certain romantic/sexual activities mean to you, what makes you attracted to a person and how you determine whether or not someone is relationship material. However, I would keep your boyfriend in mind. If you’re interested in further exploring activities with other girls, which is totally fine, but if your boyfriend wants an exclusive relationship you may want to consider talking to him about it.
Anonymous asked:
I have a friend and she's dating a girl who doesn't take the relationship seriously and she doesn't put enough effort. Everyone and including me are telling her to end it but she doesn't want to. I don't wanna force her but I just don't see how you can stay with this person when she gives you stress and pain all the time. She even says she "gains" feelings when they get into arguments. I seriously don't know how the hell that can happen. I just wanna know what to tell my friend and what to do.
You’re in a tough spot. I understand that you care for your friend and want what’s best for her. I’ve been in the same boat and I know that it is so frustrating when everyone can see what is wrong except for the person who refuses to believe it. She most likely does know that the relationship is not okay, but nobody likes breaking up when you want to prove that things can work out.
The good thing is that your other friends see things the way you do, so they can back you up. When she complains to you about her girlfriend, let her know that you can tell how upset she is, and how you don’t like seeing her like that. Don’t tell her what to do, because she will probably get defensive and feel unsupported. Just repeat the problem and place the emphasis on how it hurts you to see her hurting, and how it’s not healthy. Make sure your friends agree to do the same.
Now I hate to write this next part, but it’s the truth. You can’t force her to make any decision. It is her relationship. Like I said, I know how aggravating it is to watch someone you care about let themselves be mistreated but sometimes people have to learn the hard way. Now what you said about her “gaining” feelings when they get into arguments is disturbing. She’s beginning to mistake anger and disrespect for love, which is a huge red flag and a sign of an abusive relationship. I would recommend checking out Scarleteen, a great website for information about healthy relationships. Here’s some links that I think you should forward to your friend.
Abusive Relationship Checklist: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=000003
How to work on a healthy relationship: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/hello_sailor_how_to_build_board_and_navigate_a_healthy_relationship
How to know when you should end a relationship: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/should_i_stay_or_should_i_go
Maybe if she sees how much you and your friends love her, she will realize that the bad relationship she is in right now isn’t real love. Good luck, and feel free to let me know how things are going or if something else comes up.
